This is for all my ladies out there,
I am labeled a "Bitch". After being
called this more than a few years of my young life, I started to ask myself,
"What are the qualifications of being a 'bitch' in today's society?"
So I asked a three of my friends, and two acquaintances (those who I know, but
only see in class or other public settings) to describe me in five words.
The most common five words in popularity order were
as follows:
1.Confident
2.Bitch
3.Outgoing
4.Blunt
5.Dominate/Intimidating
As I looked at the five labels that my peers
attached to me, I started to wonder what did I do, or didn't do, to make them
think this of me?
The word "Bitch" stuck out to me the
most. I feel as though Most "bitches", or at least the ones I can
think of are most, if not all, of these things.
When I asked them to define the word
"bitch", some were confused as to why I was asking for clarity on the
meaning. Others seemed scared to answer truthfully.
Finally, after giving it some thought, one of my
friends described a "bitch" as, "She is someone who is
comfortable in her own skin and doesn't care what other people have to say.
Yet, she is quick to express her opinion, no matter how blunt, disrespectful,
or hurtful it might be. They are never sorry for what they say because they are,
telling you the hard truth, stating their opinion, and/or 'telling you how it
is going to be'. Or in other words, being bossy or assertive. Opinionated kind
of sums it up."
Another acquaintances of mine described being a
"bitch" as, "Someone who you do not want to piss off. They are
good to have as friends because, if true friends, they will always have your
back. They stand up for what they believe in, no matter the cost. They have the
confidence to back up what they say. They know what they want, and they get it,
through force, or in some cases persuasion. They always demand respect, but
give theirs sparingly."
The third person I asked this question of said that
a "bitch" is, "A female who is not dependent on anyone. She
takes care of herself. She portrays confidence, independence, and a determined
attitude towards what she wants in life."
a
(Notice how all three used the pronoun,
"She". Can men not be a "bitch"? Given that the actual
definition of the word is used to describe female dogs, in the world of slang,
can men not be a "bitch"? What is the male counterpart to being a
"Bitch"? Some might say men are, "Assholes" or
"Dicks", but do they really mean the same thing?
This got me thinking. I asked another friend of
mine, one that did not partake in the first round of questions, if he thought
that there was a male word that would be described similar to that of a
"Bitch". After reading what my other friends had described as
"Bitch traits" He laughed and then said, "If a man was to be all
of these things, then other males would probably consider him to be on
"Boss Status".
I asked him to elaborate on what this slang term
meant. He told me that a guy on "Boss Status" is a guy who
independent, assertive, and will only acknowledge your existence if you teat
him with respect."
Sound familiar?
After all of this I have come to the following
conclusion:
When a female is independent, assertive, and
demands respect, society defines her as a "Bitch". BUT, when a male
is independent, assertive, and demands respect, society labels him a
"Man", or in slang terms on "Boss Status".
I shouldn't have to point out the hypocrisy in this
sad conclusion. People are quick to label females who are not afraid to speak
their mind, no matter the cost, as "bitches". Yet, after talking with
my peer about this one word, I have come to realize that being labeled a
"bitch" is now a term that some females want to be called. Some
people think that if they are a "bitch" to other people that those
people will respect them.
Being a "bitch" is becoming more and more
popular in my generation, both for negative, and surprisingly positive
meanings.
But the hypocrisy that still exists today in the
battle for gender equality saddens me. Given that the female gender has
come a long way in its struggle for equality, we still have a long way to go!
The fight continues! We, as women, should be fighting for our place BESIDE the
male gender.
Notice I have said EQUALITY, not DOMINANCY. It is
my belief that neither gender should be superior to the other.
Whither it is being called a "bitch", or
some other slang word, no female should let the labels that society has
attached them to define them.
Although I am not a Christian any more, one of the
things I will always remember from bible study is a quote from one of my former
pastors, "God did not create Eve from Adams foot. Therefore she is not to
be walked on. God did not create Eve from Adams head. Therefore she is not
superior to Adam. No. God created Eve from Adams rib. Therefore she walks
BESIDE him though out life. Neither Adam nor Eve is superior to one another.
They are equal."
This is a quote that, although probably not
verbatim, I will never forget. My mother has taught me to be the strong,
independent woman that you see today. She also taught me that I have a voice, and
that if that voice is used correctly, it can change the world. So to every
female that reads this, I urge you to find a way for your voice to be heard. No
matter the topic. I have chosen to use my voice to raise awareness about animal
conservation, feminism, and several other things. Find a subject that means
something to you, and raise up your voice for it. :) YOUR VOICE MATTERS!!!
NEVER let ANYONE tell you any differently.
Don't be afraid to stand up for what you believe to
be right! If someone calls you a "bitch", feel free to use my
response to that by looking at the person and saying, "That is QUEEN Bitch
to you!" Never forget, every woman is a Queen of her own world. Who you
let affect you world, or kingdom, is a choice that you make.
Chose the people around you wisely, and never
settle for less than you deserve. Like my generation says, "Hater gonna
hate, but they will always appreciate." In other words there are always
going to be someone who dislikes or disagrees with you for whatever reason, but
they will always appreciate you, and the presence you had in their life.
~Sarah-Beth
