Are all the good men gone?

Television shows are designed to suck you in, that is, if they are designed well. Writers, directors, and actors all come together to form a television show so that everyone can take time out of their day and live vicariously through a fictional world.

The great shows are the ones where you become boarder line obsessed with the show and its characters, same goes for reading books. Both are a way to escape from your reality, even if it is only a short thirty minute TV show, or a however long it takes you to read the book.

People like me, well we become fully immersed in the stories and plots; we familiarize ourselves with the characters. We remember the characters fictional birthday, or where they fall in love with their perfect significant other. For me, I like dramatic stories. I guess you could say dramatic romances.

I carry myself like a strong woman who doesn’t need a man to live a happy life, or anyone’s help for that matter. Yet, I like watching the shows where there is a damsel in distress, or where the man is the lead in the relationship. Now don’t get me wrong, I love it when there is a good, strong, female lead that can kick some ass, especially in movies. I usually leave the theater thinking that I could be like her. I feel like I am strong, independent, and able to kick some ass, but that feeling fades after a few minutes. I return to reality.

I know that what we see on the screen, or on the pages of a book, is just fictional; but for a short period of time I get to escape from the reality that is my life. Yet, I still find myself wanting that epic love and romance that the female leads get in the shows.

I want a man to be so in love with me that he can’t think straight. I want a man who sends me flowers just because and not because it’s a fictional holiday that was created by Hallmark, AKA Valentines Day. I want a man who takes me on spontaneous trips, even if it’s just a walk in the woods. I want a man who wants to tell his friends about this great girl that somehow fell in love with him. I want a man to think that he doesn’t deserve me, because then you know that he does. I want a man who doesn’t promise not to hurt me, but tries his hardest not to. I want a man that is there for me when I need to cry and helps pick up the pieces when I break. Hell, I want to be able to feel comfortable crying in front of him.

Yea, I know I sound crazy and pathetic but it’s the truth. Is it really that dramatic for me to want those things in life and in a man? Are there any men out there who still do things like that? Or are all the good men gone? And just like everything else extinct, are they gone forever? Do they really only exist in the history books of romance novels and dramatic TV shows and movies?

Equality for all!

The civil rights movement was decades ago, or so the history books claim. They tell us that it’s over. That everyone is equal. They want us to believe in the façade that everyone is happy and getting along, or that we all love each other. Well I don’t buy it.

Given that we, as a country, have come a long way in the fight for equality. There are still people who believe that we have a way to go. I am one of those people. I’m only 22 years old but I had a mother who taught me that not all of the history is in out history textbooks in school. Well, she was right.

Growing up in the country of Alabama, I found out at a very young age that racism is still very much alive. There are some people, even some that are related to me, that think that they are superior to the African Americans, or any other race for that matter. I come from Native American and Irish family, but if you look at me I look like I am just white. (Most people think that Native Americans are an extinct race)

Based on what I look like on the outside, my skin color mostly, I know I get treated differently than someone who might have a darker pigmentation. That is the sad truth. I’m not proud of it. I hate it actually. I was raised to love everyone, not matter his or her skin color. Everyone is a person and they bled and feel pain just like I do. We are all humans. So, why do other people choose to not see that?

I have an aunt and uncle who are openly racist and as much as I hate that fact, they are family. Were suppose to love our family right? But how can I love them, when they are disrespectful towards another race; a race that I find myself dating members of. For the past seven years I have dated predominantly African American men. One of which is the only man that I have met that I could see myself spending the rest of my life with. He is a man that I can see myself settling down and starting a family with. He is a man that I love.

But how can I love him and my racist family members at the same time?

Families are suppose to support each other and be happy for each other when they find the other person in this world that they want to spend the rest of their lives with. Why can’t my family be that way? Instead of supporting me, and my decisions, they openly tell me that he is not good for me based of nothing other than his skin color.

They have been very vocal about me not bringing him around and that they think that all he will ever give me is heartache and pain. Yet, all he has ever said about it is “It is ok. All that matters to me is how you feel about me and about us.”

Interracial relationships are becoming more and more accepted into every day America, and honestly that fact makes me really happy. Yet, there are still those people who look at us funny, or boldly tell us that we are going to Hell because of the color of our partners skin. There is just so much hate in the world that being able to say that you are in love with someone, and that they feel the same way, is something that is nothing short of a miracle.

I hope that one-day when I have kids that they will not have to experience the racist remarks of strangers, or worse, family members. Cause let me tell you from experience, it really sucks. I have always thought of my family as understanding and open, but as I grow up I realize that the world is full of hateful people. I just never thought that I could be related to them.

The civil rights movement has not ended. We are not all equal. Yes, we have come a long way from the 1960’s and previous years, but we still have miles and miles to go. I just hope that more of America will stop allowing our “history books” to brain wash them and realize the ugly truth of the fact that inequality still exist. I hope that more people, of all races, stand up and finish the fight that our ancestors started years ago.

An elderly African American woman once asked me, “Why do you care? Why are you fighting for us? You’re white.” I bent down to look at her, grabbed her hand, and said, “Because you are worth it. This fight is worth it. Equality is worth it.” The look in her eyes and the tear that fell down her cheek is a look I will never forget.