Stereotypes

Hello again,

I've been thinking a lot about stereotypes lately. Just to give you some perspective as to where I am coming from, I am a Native American/Irish female who has tattoos and dates predominately African American men (although I do not discriminate in any way). So I get my fair share of judgment, "double takes", and whispers behind my back each and every day. But here's my thing, IT IS 2014!  But yet we have still live in a world of stereotypes. Wither it be racist or gender stereotypes, or even sexual stereotypes, we are surrounded by them every day. I don't get it! My mother raised me to love one another not based on the color of their skin, or whose hand they were holding, but to just accept people for who they are as a human being! NO ONE is perfect! We are all humans! Our blood is all the same color. So why do stereotypes exist? Why were they ever invented? Where do they come from? Are we born stereotypical, or is it something we are taught?

In my personal opinion, I think stereotypes, racism, and discrimination, are all a waste of time. Life is short! Why spend what little time we have on this beautiful planet judging our neighbors? Why cant we all just love one another? And why do people raise their children to be as judgmental as they are? I know that some might not see the wrong in being racist or judgmental, but surely by now you can realize that nothing good ever comes from it! All it does is makes that person look bad. So why do it?

Just to give you an example of some of the stereotypes I deal with I have listed below the ones I have come into contact with recently, and not so recently.

I live in the South.

That sentence right there automatically put some kind of stereotype in your head, didn't it.
Yes! Our tea is sweet, but I don't like it. Never have.
Yes! We wear shoes, but sometimes it feels nice to have mud or sand in-between your toes.
NO! We are not a bunch of "lazy hillbillies". We make an honest living working on farms AND in the cities
NO! We are not all "Overly religious bible lovers" Although Christianity is the largest religion in the South, there are A LOT of other religions down here. (i.e. my spirituality of being a Native American)

Here's a short story about southern stereotypes.

I have cousins that live in Chicago, IL. They were born and raised there. Their mother left the South for a better job. Nothing wrong with that. But in 2009, my other cousin Nicole and I flew up to Chicago to spend the beginning of our summer break with them. We leave out out of Birmingham, AL wearing blue jeans, a tank top, and some cowboy boots. The typical outfit you would expect two country girls to be wearing. Well honestly, I have worn my cowboy boots maybe ten times my whole life. I prefer to wear sandals or stilettos. As for my cousin Nicole, this was her every day wear because she worked on a farm. But the outfits were requested by our aunt. Our cousins had friends who had never met anyone outside of Chicago and she thought it would be funny if we showed up to their school to pick them up dressed like two country girls. And it was. But then once our cousins friends came to talk to us, I started to realize that we were just feeding the stereotypes. One of my cousins friends was honestly surprised that we were even wearing shoes! Another one wanted me to different words so she could hear my accent. Which yes, I have one but so does everyone else in America. Just depends on where you're from. People from up North sound just as funny to me as I do to them.

Well that night, my cousins wanted to take us out to a teen club downtown Chicago. Here's where we decided to take the stereotypes of "Country girls don't wear anything but camo" and prove it wrong. As I stated earlier, I love stilettos! And even though she works on a farm, my cousin Nicole can rock a pair as well. So when we were getting ready for the teen club, we put on, what we country folk call a "city dress" and some high-heels. Needless to say, my cousins and their friends were surprised that we, "cleaned up so nicely". One of the friends even said that we looked like we were from Chicago, until we spoke and the accent came out. For the week that we were there, Nicole and I tried to prove to my cousins friends that not all stereotypes are correct. And I believe that we succeeded!

There are so many other stereotypes that are about the South alone. Yes, some of them are accurate for SOME PEOPLE, but not EVERYONE! That's the thing about stereotypes, not everyone that is being put in that category fits in it.

For example, I date black guys.

Once again this statement alone put some sort of stereotype in your mind. Let me elaborate.
This is my preference, but I don't turn down a date from a man of any ethnicity based solely on the color of his skin.

YES! I have dated white guys.
NO! The "once you go black you never go back" saying is NOT true. I don't date them cause they are black. I date them because I believed at that time that we were compatible. But once again I don't discriminate against other races!
NO! We don't date for attention or because we are rebellious against our families.
NO! Not all black guys are "uneducated thugs"

Trell & Sarah~Beth Story.

Trell was the first black guy I ever dated. My first true love. We met online, like most people do these days. After a year of talking online we met for the first time in person and went on our first date. Fast forward six years later, and a lot of hard times in-between, Trell and I have been on again, off again for years. As of now we are not together due to distance, but we still talk everyday and are still very much in love with each other. Even while he is serving in Afghanistan we talk every day, and in some ways we plan our lives together. Need less to say, both sides of our families had their supporters of our relationship, and our not so happy people. My aunt and uncle, for instance, both believe that Trell isn't good enough for me. And when asked why, all they have to say is that I should find a "nice, white country boy". Trell has been nothing but respectful to our family, yet they both believe the stereotypes of today's African American society and hold that against him. Both have even gone so far as to say, "You can marry him, but he will never be apart of the family."All of those hateful words because of stereotypes. My own flesh and blood are against me in my decision to be with the man I love.

Then you have the up side of the family. My mother, brother, father, siblings, step-parents, grandmothers, and cousins are all for the freedom to marry and be with whom ever you choose. They are supportive of mine and Trells relationship. My mother has even called him son on numerous occasions. He has been with our family in times of celebration, and in times of mourning. Most of my family can see past the color of Trells skin, and see his true colors of his character and the way he loves and treats me. So there are some cases where stereotypes don't matter to most of the people around you, but it only takes a few to put a damper on your heart. Stereotypes are not just words that don't mean nothing. You never know just how painful your stereotypes or racist words truly hurt.


There are so many other stereotypes out there. These are just two that I experience the most. But the bottom line of this whole post is that stereotypes, racism, and discrimination are something that we should never take part in. They do no one any good. If you have to put some one down to make yourself feel better, then I suggest you go to counseling. It is 2014 people. Lets teach the generation now and the ones before and after us that no mater the color of our skin, or where we are from, defines us. We are all imperfectly perfect humans. We all have our flaws. So why judge someone, when you are not perfect yourself? Think about that next time you come in contact with a stereotype. Lets make today a better tomorrow.

Peace & Love
Sarah~Beth