Where is the romance?

Hello readers,

Like a lot of females, I watch romantic movies and read romance novels. Ever since I was little I have dreamed of having a relationship like my grandparents. Every summer my brother and I would stay with them during the day while my parents were at work. While I was there, I would watch my grandparents interact with each other and it was during those times that I learned what love was. It was the kind of love that you see in the movies or read about in books. I call it the “forever love” because it is the kind of love that last forever.

I, like hundreds of other little girls, have always wanted to experience that type of love. The love that changes your whole world and how you view life in general. Needless to say I am a hopeless romantic. However, as I have gotten older I have noticed that romance is slowly dying. That there are fewer and fewer people that are interested in having romance in their relationships. Or, better yet, their definition of romance has changed from that of our parents, or grandparents.

Our generation has even developed a new type of relationship. We call them, “stiuationships”. I know, sounds funny, right? Let me define this new term for you. A “situationship” is where two people do all the things that most couples do, such as dates, sleeping over at each others houses, or buying each other stuff for holidays and birthdays, however, the difference is that they do not put a title to their relationship. Meaning that in their mind, they are really still single and open to see whomever else they please.

The Urban Dictionary defines a “situationship” as, “A relationship that has no label on it. [It is] like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a relationship.” They go on to say that it is basically a progression from the classic “friends with benefits” title.

I have found that more and more people in our generation have accepted this a healthy relationship due to the fact that it doesn’t hold someone back from seeing another person or having other sexual encounters with other people. People in todays society feel as though if they don’t fully commit to the relationship by putting a “dating” title on their relationship that they can get away with not being fully invested in the relationship. For example, they feel as though they don’t have to go out on romantic dates, or take time out of their lives to meet each other families. They can just get away with hanging out with each other every now and then and maybe going out to eat at a fast food place once or twice a week.

Is there a such thing as a relationship anymore, or have we all be brainwashed to believe that situationships are an acceptable replacement? I have done my fair share of dating. I’ve dated guys who wouldn’t let me hangout with any of my other guy friends due to insecurity, and I have dated guys who couldn’t care less if I was constantly surrounded by guys, whether they were attractive or not. And looking back, I believe that I, myself, have been in a “situationship”.

Is this new type of relationship the new normal? In a world where hooking up with the guy you just met is socially acceptable, I would have to say that it is. But how did it become that way? Where did the romance go? There is no romance in “situationships”. Its primarily just about hooking up and hanging out. A glorified friend with benefits, if you will. Why is this the normal now? Does this generation not believe in commitment? Or, are we just scared of it? Are we scared that commitment just leads to broken hearts, or promises?

In a world where the 50% of all marriages end in divorces, I don’t blame us for not believing in marriage, let alone commitment. The majority of our generation probably came from a broken home, or never saw what a healthy relationship looked like. Not to say that it our parents fault, because it’s not. My parents got divorced when I was around six. So, I know what it is like to grow up with your parents not together. However, here I am, 23-years-old and still believing in love and romance.

It is because of my romantic ideas that I think it is hard for me to find the right guy. One of my guy friends once said that if a girl says that she expect romance then she must be high maintenance. I told him that I couldn’t disagree more and here is why. (Disclaimer, I do not speak for every woman.)

Romance can be shown or given in several different ways. For example, as much as I like getting all dressed up and taken to a fancy restaurant for dinner, I find watching movies and eating pizza can be just as romantic, if not more. To me, it is all about the context in which the date is presented. If my boyfriend comes over with a stack of movies, pizza in his hand, and a smile on his face, I find that more romantic than if he takes me to a fancy restaurant and is obviously not feeling the whole fancy thing. Which, ladies, most guys don’t like fancy restaurants.

To me, romance isn’t about how much you spend on your girl, it’s about how much time you spend with her.

Most females just want to know that their man cares. It can be as simple as sending her a text saying that you miss her or that you were thinking about her. Or, it can be as expensive as you want. There are a lot things that you can do to show your woman that you care and that you love her.

One thing that my grand-daddy once told me was, “A man can have a lot of hobbies, but making grand-mom happy is my favorite thing to do.”

Our generation is what is going to give birth to the next one. So, once we have kids, make sure to raise them to be kind, loving, and maybe instill in them a little romance. Love is a beautiful thing, and romance is just the beginning.